Relational Apologetics: What If The Relationship Gets Hard? - A Simple Faith Special Series
Following Jesus isn't always
easy, but it's not complicated.
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This is simple faith.
Welcome back to simple Faith everybody.
I'm your host, rusty George, and this
is the grand finale of our five part
journey into Relational Apologetics.
Over the past few weeks, we've explored
the power of connection, the art of
hearing, the heart finding common ground
by building bridges to Jesus and the
incredible witness of a loving community.
If you've missed any of the
previous episodes, I encourage
you to go check those out.
And today in episode five, we are diving
into what it truly means to sustain a
relational approach to faith, making it
not just a strategy, but a way of life.
In our exploration, we've learned that
faith isn't always built on winning
arguments, but often blossoms within
the context of genuine human connection.
We've seen how listening with empathy
and helping people to empty their bucket
can unlock the deeper questions people
carry, and how finding common ground can
build bridges across diverse worldviews.
The Christian community itself stands
as a powerful testament to the love of
Christ when it embodies welcome and care.
This is the Celtic way of evangelism, but
to be honest, that can sound exhausting.
How do we keep this going?
How do we make relational apologetics
a lasting part of our lives?
We began this series by asking the
question, what if doing traditional
apologetics means doing it the hard way?
And I think we've made a
pretty successful case that.
Relational apologetics for many of
us, is a much easier form or more
natural, at least form of evangelism.
But there is one problem with that.
Relationships are hard.
Relationships are difficult.
Everybody knows that.
Most people think it's because of money,
sex, kids work, or who picks up the socks.
Some people think it's because
we're just not right for each other
or we don't have enough in common.
Look, it's not just you or him or her.
There's actually nothing more difficult
on the planet than another person.
Think about that.
We are all difficult.
That's Stan Tatkin.
Stan is a clinician, researcher,
teacher, and developer.
Of a psychological
approach to couple therapy.
I can tell you that fighting
in and of itself is inevitable.
There is no relationship without conflict.
In fact, if you are a conflict
avoider, you will appear
threatening to your partner.
The real problem isn't that you fight.
It's when you do one or both of you
threatens to leave the relationship.
A relationship can survive fights.
What it cannot survive is
loss of safety and security.
Atkins says the real problem is not that
we're fighting, it's that someone to
one degree or another is threatening to
leave the relationship, to dissolve the
relationship, or in this case community.
So how can a close community or
any relationship for that matter.
Survive the constant
threat of disintegration.
Well, that's the million
dollar question, isn't it?
It's easy to get fired up after a
conference or a podcast series, but
the real work happens in the day to
day, and those ordinary interactions
with our neighbors, our colleagues, our
families, sustaining a relational approach
requires patience and perseverance.
Think about any meaningful
relationship in your life.
It wasn't built overnight.
It took time, consistent effort
and a willingness to stick with
it even through the tough times.
The same holds true when we're sharing
our faith in this relational way.
We're often planting seeds and we may
not see the harvest for a long time.
My wife and I met while we
both worked at a Panera.
We both opened at 5:00 AM so it was
definitely not a romantic time of
day and it absolutely was not love at
first sight, but we did become friends.
Over time, I learned that she had grown up
in a Christian home, but now in her early
twenties, she wasn't living for Jesus.
She had walked away from the
church and God and was living
a very un-Christian lifestyle.
When we spent time together, I would
share my story in particular, the
joy of my faith, the fulfilling
purpose She had grown up in a church.
She knew all the arguments
and reasons for Christianity.
But they didn't feel relevant to her.
She eventually fell deeper into addiction
and left town, but the spirit had
placed a burden for her on my heart
and even when I eventually moved
away, I continued to pray for her.
About four years later, I
got a call out of the blue.
After going through some challenging
times, she had turned back to Christ.
She had attended a recovery program
for about a year and had been
completely transformed by the power
of the Gospel and the Holy Spirit.
The next time I was in the area of
visiting family, we met up and she
even looked like a brand new person.
She told me that after she had gotten
saved and moved in with her mom, she
wanted to find me again since I was
the only Christian friend she could
remember from that time in her life.
When talking about it with her mom
and trying to think of a way to
contact me, her mom remembered that.
Surprisingly, my phone number was
still written on their whiteboard in
the basement from four years earlier.
For four years, I had been
praying for her, but not just me.
Her parents and her parents' friends
and their church have been praying
for her for much longer than that.
A year or two later, we began to date.
And then a year and a half
after that we were married.
Now we've been married for 15
years with two beautiful daughters.
The seeds that were planted in
our 5:00 AM conversations took
four years to bear fruit, and the
seeds and prayers planted by her
parents' community took even longer.
But when they did bear fruit, the
difference was nothing short of a miracle.
Exactly.
Our testimony and the stories of
those in community are powerful tools.
Our own journey of faith has likely
had its twists and turns, and sharing
those moments of uncertainty can
actually build trust and show others
that faith isn't about having all
the answers, but about a relationship
with a God who welcomes our questions.
And here's the key.
Faith isn't just a one-time act.
It is ongoing.
It takes us from faith to faithfulness.
It is a difference between a wedding
and a marriage, a moment and momentum.
Relational apologetics also
requires faithfulness to the
harmony of truth and love.
It's not enough to be just loving
without speaking truth, and it's
certainly not effective to be truthful
without love and respect that's
falling into the trap of unity.
For the sake of unity alone, I.
The Apostle Peter urged us to always
be prepared to give an answer to
everyone who asks you to give the
reason for the hope that you have, but
do this with gentleness and respect.
We are all called to be
ambassadors for Christ.
This isn't just for the pastors
or the professional apologists.
It's for every single follower of Jesus.
Sustaining a relational approach means
equipping ourselves to share our faith
in our everyday lives in the coffee shop.
At the school line, pickup in the
workplace, and certainly wherever we go.
Think about Sean McDowell and
how he connects with people by
understanding their interests.
Even something like Marvel movies,
it's about finding those common
cultural touchstones as starting
points for a deeper conversation.
And to be honest, that takes time.
Learning about your kids'
hobbies or interests doesn't
mean a quick Google search.
You have to spend time in the world of
Minecraft or Pokemon or whatever it is.
And then you have to be able to translate
the gospel into Pokemon in a way that
your child can understand without
losing any of the truth of the gospel.
In a way, that's exactly what
Jesus did in his incarnation.
He was fully God, but translated perfectly
into being a human in a way that we
could completely understand and grasp
going through everything that we go
through with nothing lost in translation.
And he did it for his entire life.
But the difference is that Christ
did it for us so we could have grace
extended towards us and that while we
were still sinners, Christ died for us.
That sounds a lot like
relational apologetics.
Exactly.
So now we don't have to be perfect
because Christ was perfect.
Our community that we are inviting people
into doesn't have to be perfect because
they aren't perfect and never will be.
It just has to be rooted in the perfect
love of God, and that is where our
faithfulness springs from, and that is
an incredible thing to offer someone.
It is our Christian community.
That itself strengthens us.
It is the vehicle by which God
helps us not just be willing to die
for Christ, like Peter said, but
also to be able to live for him.
Day in and day out.
Christian community is also a spectrum.
You have your acquaintances and
you have your lifelong friends,
but the deeper your community, the
more self-sustaining it becomes.
It will always take time, but
that investment of time eventually
starts to pay off with more
time to put it practically.
When your friends come over.
Do you want a messy house?
No, of course not.
For your good friends, you'll clean
your house, but for your great friends,
they'll help you clean your house.
The time you invested in that
relationship to get to that point where
they help you with the dishes, make
meals when you're sick, and help you
raise your kids and rake your leaves.
All that investment of time pays off
with more time to spend on each other,
and then a world of individualism.
Time is the most precious commodity
and incredibly valuable reason to be
part of a community as an attractive
as any other Christ-like demonstration.
Ultimately sustaining a relational
approach to faith requires us to
take the long view of influence.
Our goal isn't necessarily instant
conversion, but rather fostering
understanding, building meaningful
relationships and planting seeds that
the Holy Spirit can water and grow.
There might be times when we pour
our hearts into a relationship and
we don't see immediate results.
We might face resistance or even
rejection, but relational apologetics
reminds us that every genuine
connection, every seed of kindness
and truth planted in love has value.
I.
Some might object saying it is relational.
Apologetics, a weak or
ineffective approach.
In a world that demands certainty and
proof, and that's a fair question.
In a world that often values quick answers
and forceful arguments, a relational
approach can sometimes feel slow or
indirect and relational apologetics.
Celtic style evangelism doesn't shy
away from answering the tough questions.
It's patient enough to listen
for the real questions.
Think about it.
How often are people truly persuaded
by being argued into belief more often?
It's through seeing the love of Christ
lived out in the lives of others
through feeling genuinely heard and
understood that hearts begin to open.
As we've explored relational
apologetics, prioritizes building
trust and understanding before
presenting arguments, it recognizes
that for many belonging, often proceeds
believing, and in the long run, those
relationships built on genuine care.
It can be far more persuasive than
any isolated intellectual argument.
So as we conclude this series,
I wanna encourage you, you don't
need to be a theological expert
to live out a relational faith.
The Christian community does call us
to go further up and deeper in as c.
S Lewis put it.
It starts with simply caring about
people listening to their stories,
being willing to walk alongside them.
It's about showing the love of Jesus in
tangible ways and being ready to share the
reason for the hope that lies within you.
Take some time this week to consider
how you can intentionally incorporate
the principles of relational apologetics
into your daily interactions.
Who in your life might need
to experience the love and
understanding of Christ through you?
Who are you willing to
invest a little time in?
So as we look to the future, let's
think about this As the cultural
landscape continues to shift and new
questions about faith arise, how will
the emphasis on genuine human connection
and relational understanding shape the
way we explore and share our deepest
beliefs, moving beyond arguments?
To Authentic Encounters.
Well, thanks for joining me for this
series on The Simple Faith Podcast.
You can find all the previous episodes
and more resources@pastorrustygeorge.com.
Make sure you subscribe to the
podcast wherever you get your podcast.
Check out our YouTube channel as well, and
join us next week for brand new content.
Until then.
Keep it simple.
